Q [7] Does the age of a character's love interest matter to you?

Personally, the age of a character's love interest does not matter to me, as long as they're both consenting adults. Some books really toe the line of what an adult actually is, so I'm going to go with 18 for the purposes of this post. How do you feel when a character's love interest is significantly younger or older than they are? Does the character's gender matter? 

Last year I read Here So Far Away by Hadley Dyer, which I really enjoyed. The main character, George, was emotionally and somewhat physically involved with an older guy. In his defense, she mislead him at the start of the book, and made him think she was older than she was. They both struggled with their feelings, but couldn't deny that they were attracted to one another. I thought the relationship between the two felt very authentic and believable. George was just shy of 18, and I believe she was old enough to make her own decisions. However, if anyone had discovered them together, there would have been severe consequences for them both (more so for him, I think). 

I thought Hadley Dyer did a wonderful job managing the minefield of their relationship, and shedding light on their emotional turmoil. There was an honesty between the two characters that was beautiful to see, and George finally found someone that she could be herself with. They spent a lot of time together trying to figure out their feelings (was it a fleeting attracting, did it have the potential to be long-lasting, was it better to ignore each other, etc.), while also keeping everything a secret. It felt realistic, and I'm sure there are a lot of people out there that have dated someone much older than themselves. George is a character they can relate to, myself included. When I was in high school, I dated a guy that was six years older than me. Looking back on it now, I regret the relationship, but not because of the age difference. The guy was a douche canoe, and I stayed with him for all the wrong reasons. 

After reading and reviewing this book, I noticed a lot of people saying they liked concept for the overall story, but they were turned off by the age difference between the two characters. There were comments that said it set a bad example for teenagers today, and that the gap made them uncomfortable. There are so many people that will refuse to read books simply because they dislike how much older one person is than the other. 

Another book I read last year was The Idea of You by Robinne Lee. It was actually recommended to me by two of my friends, so I didn't hesitate to pick it up. Unfortunately, I didn't love it as much as they did, but the story did have some merit. Solène was intimately involved with someone much younger than herself, and his career made it hard for them to keep their relationship a secret. They try to sneak around for awhile, because she has daughter and he doesn't like to comment on his personal life, but a slip up was inevitable. 

Once their relationship was made public, people criticized her for her age and said she was too old to be with him. First of all, thirty isn't old. Secondly, it wasn't anyone's business. They were both adults, and not just barely, but fully into adulthood, so their decisions should have been personal and private. I hated how they were scrutinized, and that people made comments about her being old enough to be his mother. 

After reading and reviewing this book, I noticed fewer comments about their age, but people still seemed uninterested in a book that had such a large age difference between two of the characters. It's like the topic is taboo, even though it's something we see every day.

Why does age matter if they're both adults that agree on the relationship? Do you think it sets a bad example? Why? Is it okay for one gender to date an older person and not the other? Let me know what you think!

Mini Reviews [20]

Tangled (Tangled, #1) by Emma Chase
Narrated by Sebastian York

Synopsis (via Goodreads): Drew Evans is a winner. Handsome and arrogant, he makes multimillion dollar business deals and seduces New York’s most beautiful women with just a smile. He has loyal friends and an indulgent family. So why has he been shuttered in his apartment for seven days, miserable and depressed?

He’ll tell you he has the flu.

But we all know that’s not really true.

Katherine Brooks is brilliant, beautiful and ambitious. She refuses to let anything - or anyone - derail her path to success. When Kate is hired as the new associate at Drew’s father’s investment banking firm, every aspect of the dashing playboy’s life is thrown into a tailspin. The professional competition she brings is unnerving, his attraction to her is distracting, his failure to entice her into his bed is exasperating.

Then, just when Drew is on the cusp of having everything he wants, his overblown confidence threatens to ruin it all. Will he be able untangle his feelings of lust and tenderness, frustration and fulfillment? Will he rise to the most important challenge of his life?

Can Drew Evans win at love?

Tangled is not your mother’s romance novel. It is an outrageous, passionate, witty narrative about a man who knows a lot about women…just not as much as he thinks he knows. As he tells his story, Drew learns the one thing he never wanted in life, is the only thing he can’t live without.

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I really love Emma Chase's Royally series, and I was looking forward to reading some of her other books. However, Drew didn't work for me. He's uses women and doesn't feel bad about it, which he will happily admit. He likes his lifestyle, his work, and the fact that women cling to him wherever he goes. Dude made me want to vomit. There was nothing attractive or appealing about him. Yes, he could be sweet and humorous, and I liked the scenes with his niece (she was the best character), but Drew's personality left something to be desired.

Of course, someone eventually comes along to challenge him and the way he views woman (imagine that), but he doesn't know what to do with his feelings. He's never genuinely cared about another woman before, and Kate is engaged to someone else. It was a complicated mess that wasn't always enjoyable to read about. I'm all for steamy sex scenes, but I didn't like spending a few hours of the audiobook in his apartment while they had sex for days. He's a condescending asshole even when he likes someone.

For those of you that have read this, I know Drew was supposed to have an arrogant personality, but it really rubbed me the wrong way. I don't like it when guys are pushy until they get what they want, and I don't like men who talk about women like they're an object in the room. Drew didn't have to work very hard for what he wanted, and he didn't have to grow or change to achieve his goals. Eventually everything just fell into his lap -- figuratively and literally.

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The Idea of You by Robinne Lee

Synopsis (via Goodreads): When Solène Marchand, the thirty-nine-year-old owner of a prestigious art gallery in Los Angeles, takes her daughter, Isabelle, to meet her favorite boy band, she does so reluctantly and at her ex-husband’s request. The last thing she expects is to make a connection with one of the members of the world-famous August Moon. But Hayes Campbell is clever, winning, confident, and posh, and the attraction is immediate. That he is all of twenty years old further complicates things.

What begins as a series of clandestine trysts quickly evolves into a passionate relationship. It is a journey that spans continents as Solène and Hayes navigate each other’s disparate worlds: from stadium tours to international art fairs to secluded hideaways. And for Solène, it is as much a reclaiming of self, as it is a rediscovery of happiness and love. When their romance becomes a viral sensation, and both she and her daughter become the target of rabid fans and an insatiable media, Solène must face how her new status has impacted not only her life, but the lives of those closest to her.

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The Idea of You was recommended to me by a friend, and while the ending was sad, it wasn't convincing. I didn't like Solène or most of the choices she made. She kept secrets even knowing they would hurt the people she loved. She was too concerned with how she would look, and how she would be impacted by things. Although, I can't say she wasn't considerate, because she did think about her daughter often, but her actions and decisions weren't always ideal. Hayes, the twenty-year-old guy, was often more mature and understanding than the thirty-nine-year-old woman.

Also, their age difference shouldn't have been an issue. The book makes it seem like they're doing something dirty because Hayes prefers to be in relationships with older women. They were both consenting adults, so her shame and discomfort over that felt wrong. He didn't care about their age difference, only his feelings for her, so why was she so resistant to commit to their relationship? Yes, the publicity did negatively affect her personal life, and the life of her daughter, but she knew that was a possibility before she started sneaking off to be with him. She knew there would be repercussions, so she should have committed fully or never gotten involved.

The posh boy band aspect was fun, and their dynamics were complex and interesting. I wish the book had focused on them more, and maybe touched on some of their relationships with each other. I think it would have worked better had the story been told from dual perspectives. We could have seen what his life was like when he was wasn't with Solène, which would have also shown us more of the band.

Solène wasn't someone I could relate to, and I found myself more frustrated than not. I kept reading out of curiosity, but the ending was predictable and very unsatisfying.