Monday, June 15, 2020

The New One: Painfully True Stories from a Reluctant Dad
by Mike Birbiglia & poems by J. Hope Stein

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1538701510/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&SubscriptionId=1MGPYB6YW3HWK55XCGG2&linkCode=ll1&tag=doyoudogear-20&linkId=5dcf861f1f5b4bd32c9d0045ea058d67&language=en_USSynopsis (via Goodreads): With laugh-out-loud funny parenting observations, the NYT bestselling author and award-winning comedian delivers a book that is perfect for anyone who has ever raised a child, been a child, or refuses to stop acting like one.

In 2016 comedian Mike Birbiglia and poet Jennifer Hope Stein took their fourteen-month-old daughter Oona to the Nantucket Film Festival. When the festival director picked them up at the airport she asked Mike if he would perform at the storytelling night. She said, "The theme of the stories is jealousy."
Jen quipped, "You're jealous of Oona. You should talk about that."


And so Mike began sharing some of his darkest and funniest thoughts about the decision to have a child. Jen and Mike revealed to each other their sides of what had gone down during Jen's pregnancy and that first year with their child. Over the next couple years, these stories evolved into a Broadway show, and the more Mike performed it the more he heard how it resonated -- not just with parents but also people who resist all kinds of change.

So he pored over his journals, dug deeper, and created this book: The New One: Painfully True Stories From a Reluctant Dad. Along with hilarious and poignant stories he has never shared before, these pages are sprinkled with poetry Jen wrote as she navigated the same rocky shores of new parenthood.

So here it is. This book is an experiment -- sort of like a family.

"And the blood itself doesn't faze me because, as I've stated, I'm a vampire and Jen's blood is an aphrodisiac."
I received an ARC from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. My thoughts and opinions are my own. Any quotes I use are from an unpublished copy and may not reflect the finished product.

I seriously considered not finishing this book after reading the above quote, because GROSS. THAT IS WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION. Yes, this is a book about someone's experiences as a husband and father, but telling readers (more than once) how attracted you are to your wife when she's on her period, IS TAKING IT TOO FAR. Please keep those particular preferences to yourself! Am I supposed to appreciate your honesty and openness? Sorry, no. I know comedians use their personal lives and experiences for material, but that wasn't funny, entertaining, or something I needed to know. 

A lot of what Birbiglia said felt forced, like he was trying too hard to be funny (especially in situations that did not call for humor). He's also SUPER self-deprecating, which I've never found funny. Although, there were a few times when I did laugh-out-loud because of something he'd said. Maybe because it was relatable, or just sounded insane? I honestly don't know. The laughs were few and far between.

The author makes it clear from the start that he never wanted kids, so some of his reactions reflected those feelings. He felt inadequate when it came to loving his child and being there for his wife, almost like he was the third wheel in their relationship. It was interesting to read about his perspective as a husband and new father, and I found myself comparing some of his stories to my own experiences with my husband after having children.

Additionally, I liked that the author chose to include his wife's poetry in this book, but most of it was about fish and went way over my head. Normally, I like poetry, even if I'm not entirely sure what the author is trying to say, but I rarely had any idea what J. Hope Stein was trying to communicate with her poems (based on the theme of this book, I'm going to assume it was about her child and being a mother). I'm pretty sure there was something in there about going in reverse and a hairy ass... I think it's amazing that they both chronicled the first year of their daughter's life in their own way (and somewhat unknowingly), but I felt detached from everything that was happening. I often found myself thinking, "How is this your life?"

I started The New One late one night, and read roughly twenty pages before falling asleep, but then finished it in a little over an hour the following day. It's a quick read, which is probably the only reason I decided to keep going. There's not really a conclusion, just a guy coming to terms with his new circumstances in life, and how he chose to address his problems as they slapped him in the face. If you like comedians, maybe give this one a shot? I honestly don't know how I would define this book... Autobiographical? Parenting for the unwilling? Memoir with a dash of Kink? If you've read this one, message me so we can discuss it in more detail! (★★⋆☆☆)

14 comments:

  1. Ewwwwwwwww! That's way TMI!

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  2. I used to love comedian bios but I've struggled lately. They feel so forced and try to be edgy.

    Karen @ For What It's Worth

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    1. Yes! Exactly! It feels like they're trying too hard to be funny, and that defeats the purpose of reading a book by a comedian. It's supposed to feel naturally hilarious, and not like you're fishing for laughs. The last book I read by "comedians" was The Greatest Love Story Ever Told: An Oral History by Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman. Loved it! Jim Gaffigan is usually pretty good (like Dad Is Fat). ;)

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  3. Oh my. I don't think I could read this one. Beyond the gross out factor, it sounds like he forgets what makes the best comedians so endearing. Heart.

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    1. Very true! I knew going into it that he was a reluctant dad (it's in the title), but he wasn't likable at all. The guy loves his wife, and their child should have been an extension of them both. It's okay if you don't click with your baby right away, but I'm surprised it took him a year to feel like he was a part of the family. I also didn't like some of the information he chose to share, because TMI. Some things are meant to stay private!!

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  4. I threw up in my mouth a little and had to stop reading this review because GROSS

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  5. Uhhh...seems like a weird one. I was curious about this one, but I think I'll take it off my to-read list. Not sure I'd find enough of it humorous or interesting. LOL

    -Lauren
    www.shootingstarsmag.net

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    1. I don't normally read books like this, but I'm trying to branch out of my genre comfort zone! ;) This book is making me wish I'd stayed in my lane, haha. It really was UGH, though. He's a surprisingly unlikeable person.

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  6. I usually enjoy Birbiglia’s comedy bits but I can safely say I’m going to give his book a pass.

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    1. I Googled him after reading his book to watch some of his stand-up comedy, but it wasn't very funny either. I guess I should have looked into who he was BEFORE accepting a request to review his book. ;)

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  7. I've never heard of the guy but after the first quote I'd be hard-passing this book! As you said, waaaay too much information!

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    1. I wish I'd seen that quote somewhere before starting this one--I don't think I would have picked it up!

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“Stuff and nonsense. Nonsense and stuff and much of a muchness and nonsense all over again. We are all mad here, don't you know?”
― Marissa Meyer, Heartless