This Heart of Mine by C.C. Hunter

Expected publication: February 27th 2018

Synopsis (via Goodreads): A new heart saved her life—but will it help her find out what really happened to its donor?

Seventeen-year-old Leah MacKenzie is heartless. An artificial heart in a backpack is keeping her alive. However, this route only offers her a few years. And with her rare blood type, a transplant isn’t likely. Living like you are dying isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. But when a heart becomes available, she’s given a second chance at life. Except Leah discovers who the donor was — a boy from her school — and they’re saying he killed himself. Plagued with dreams since the transplant, she realizes she may hold the clues to what really happened.

Matt refuses to believe his twin killed himself. When Leah seeks him out, he learns they are both having similar dreams and he’s certain it means something. While unraveling the secrets of his brother’s final moments, Leah and Matt find each other, and a love they are terrified to lose. But life and even new hearts don’t come with guarantees. Who knew living, took more courage than dying? 

I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. My thoughts and opinions are my own. Also, the quote I used may have changed or been altered in some way, but I am quoting from what I received.

"She asks me to unbutton my top. I almost don’t care that I’m flashing my boobs. I think everyone in the hospital has seen them. They try to cover them up with the sides of my pajama top when they examine me, but it never fails, something slips. Boobs are slippery like that."

I absolutely loved this book! I'm so happy it was the first book I finished in 2018! It was a great way to start the year, and it means I'm going to have very high standards for everything else I read. I hope they are all just as marvelous!

The entire book has an underlying sadness to it. The grief is palpable and constant. It shows you how different people choose to heal and manage their emotions, but it also shows you that the pain never completely leaves. 

The characters are ridiculously relatable. I didn't feel like I was reading a fictional story. I felt like I was reliving someone's life experiences. It was really realistic and there were times I thought, "I do that, too!" Another awesome example: Matt reads Harry Potter and James Dashner. He also reads a romance book and isn't ashamed that he enjoyed it. 

The relationship between Matt and Leah was sweet and sincere. They went through their rainbow of emotions, and it was beautiful to watch them come together. The newness of their feelings was light and refreshing, while their circumstances gave it a darker edge. 

Leah also has the best Best Friend. I thought it was hilarious, and so very true, when the author included a bathroom scene with the two of them. They can have an entire conversation while taking turns peeing into a toilet, and it's not awkward or weird. It shows just how comfortable they are with each other, and it takes a long time to develop that kind of friendship and ease with another person. 

There are literal laugh-out-loud moments, sweet and endearing moments, and moments when you want to take some of their pain away. It was a captivating, emotional, and hilarious story that I plan to read again and again.

I do have one minor issue with the book--*highlight to view a potential spoiler» it was too easy for me to determine the killer. I had made my assumptions long before the information was actually revealed, and it disappointed me a little. It didn't take away from the overall story, or Matt and Leah, but it was still a bummer. I like to be surprised. I don't mind intentionally knowing something before the characters, but I feel like this revelation was supposed to be shared with them. Instead I'm thinking, "Yep! I knew that was coming!" I wish his identity had been a little harder to discern.