On the heels of a devastating plague, Torvi’s sister, Morgunn, is stolen from the family farm by Uther, a flame-loving Fremish wolf-priest who leads a pack of ragged, starving girls. Torvi leaves the only home she’s ever known, and joins a shaven-skulled druid and a band of roaming Elsh artists known as the Butcher Bards. They set out on a quest to rescue Torvi’s sister, and find a mythical sword.
On their travels, Torvi and her companions will encounter magical night wilds and mystical Drakes who trade in young men. They will sing rowdy Elshland ballads in a tree-town tavern, and find a mysterious black tower in an Endless Forest. They will fight alongside famous Vorseland archers and barter with Fremish wizards. They will feast with rogue Jade Fell children in a Skal Mountain cave, and seek the help of a Pig Witch. They will face wild, dangerous magic that leads to love, joy, tragedy, and death.
Torvi set out to rescue a sister, but she may find it’s merely the first step toward a life that is grander and more glorious than anything she could have imagined.
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The cover and world-building were lovely, but that's really all this book has going for it. The characters were flat and frustrating, and the plot was nearly nonexistent. We spend most of the book walking from one place to the next, and very few exciting things happen along the way. However, the descriptions of the world were stellar and provided a clear view into Tucholke's world. (Although, I would have liked to learn more about the giant trolls.)
Torvi was like a piece a bread. It's useful and can provide sustenance, but there's nothing really remarkable about it. Where was her passion? Her drive? What did she love? I felt as if I barely knew her, and we essentially traveled together for months. The author drops crumbs about her family and their history, but it's never really expanded on. (I wanted to know more about her father and his side of the family, and why her mother favored Morgunn.)
Honestly, Seven Endless Forests felt more like an outline than an actual book. If something exciting happened, it was over after a page. The conflicts were brief and they were resolved with little-to-no struggle or hardship. There was a really interesting tower in one of the forests that required them to "fly" to the top and enter through a window (think Rapunzel, but with trippy mushrooms), which sounded promising. I was looking forward to what would happen once they were inside, but it was over before it could really start (don't even get me started on how they figured out how to access the tower). The ghost of a witch forms from the dust and grime, and then they jump out of the tower to safety. Boom. Over. There was no battle, no plan to fight the witch and rid the tower of her evil presence, just them taking what they wanted and leaving.
It was also weird how quickly they became friends and lovers. They'll meet someone, and suddenly they're BFFs or kissing in a corner. It was equally hard to believe that people were always so incredibly welcoming and easygoing. Taverns are notoriously boisterous places, yet the ones they visited were uneventful. Were they lively and merry? Yes. However, there were no brawls, and no shady dealings transpired under dirty tables. They were ran by pretty men and women, groups of siblings, and everyone was happy. I'm not saying it's impossible, but there was just something lacking from all of their adventures. I didn't feel like they were on a quest, merely walking around in an eerily beautiful world. They talk about the dangers, and tell stories about past atrocities, but never experience them for themselves.
Most of what they did was simply unbelievable. I doubt Torvi and Gyda would have picked up on the Butcher Bards' knife fighting as quickly as they did. I also rolled my eyes whenever something conveniently happened, or information fell into their laps. They never had to work for anything. They sang their songs, told their stories, and moved on. Even when they are given specific instructions, and warned what would happen if they veered from the path, no one listened. Torvi went into the one tent she was supposed to avoid, and they left the tunnel when they heard children's laughter behind fallen rocks. Both events proved beneficial to the group, so why were they given ominous warnings? It didn't make sense. If they were told bad things would happen, then I feel like something bad should've happened.
When Torvi and team finally reach Esca's Hall, they talk about being the first people to set foot inside since the sagas (I think that's supposed to translate into centuries). However, I found that hard to believe. If Uther knew about it, surely others did too. From what I could tell, there were plenty of Vorse who would've loved the jarldom. It seemed unrealistic for their journey to have been so easy. Long, but ultimately not difficult. People died, but no one we knew or cared about (sounds harsh, but it's true). To be honest, I didn't really care for any of the characters๐main or secondary๐they were simply there.
My favorite part? Torvi tells a wizard she'll never have children when he asks for her firstborn, but then she seeks him out in the middle of the night for sex. She then goes on and on about how magical it was. Duh? He's a wizard? But also... what the hell is wrong with you? Then she wants to know if Madoc is upset (someone she's grown close to), but he's not. He understands, and she thinks he's great for it. Wonderful!
Everything that happened between Torvi and her sister was just too much. It was too unbelievable. It was sad at first, but then finding Morgunn became less important to her, because the journey was suddenly what mattered. She was REALLY LIVING with her found family, and having a meaningful quest is what life's all about! Right? Right! Then Torvi finds her sister, doesn't like what she sees, and simply stops wanting to help her. She's just lost now? I hated that aspect of the story, and how the sword was eventually pulled from the tree. What the hell is up with that anyways? What purpose did it serve?
Basically, if they needed help or an answer to a question, one would present itself. There was hardly any fighting, the grief was minimal and short-lived, and the bad guys were almost always helpful. It was all very frustrating. I kept reading because I thought there would be some sort of satisfying conclusion at the end, but it just made me angry. I wish it had been a physical copy so I could have tossed it across the room. In the end, the story was simply too convenient and lacked substance, and the characters were too dull to warrant any emotion or concern on my part. (★★⋆☆☆)
