Then, “Jane” was just your typical 17-year-old in a typical New England suburb getting ready to start her senior year. She had a part-time job she enjoyed, an awesome best friend, overbearing but loving parents, and a crush on a boy who was taking her to see her favorite band. She never would’ve imagined that in her town where nothing ever happens, a series of small coincidences would lead to a devastating turn of events that would forever change her life.
Now, it’s been three months since “Jane” escaped captivity and returned home. Three months of being that girl who was kidnapped, the girl who was held by a “monster.” Three months of writing down everything she remembered from those seven months locked up in that stark white room. But, what if everything you thought you knew―everything you thought you experienced―turned out to be a lie?
𑁋𑁋𑁋
I received an ARC from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. My thoughts and opinions are my own. Any quotes I use are from an unpublished copy and may not reflect the finished product.
I read and loved Deadly Little Secret and the rest of the Touch series by Stolarz, so I was stoked to see she'd written something new! As a parent, Jane Anonymous was hard to read. I don't know what I would do if my child was abducted𑁋just thinking about the possibility makes me nauseas and panicky.
This book is told from Jane's perspective (she's a somewhat unreliable narrator, and doesn't remember everything that happened to her while she was held captive), although the main character doesn't use her real name or places. She's journaling about the events that happened before, during (Then), and after (Now) she went missing, so we live through her experiences and how she remembers them. We're told at the start that names and places will be altered to protect her identity, and I thought it was a really interesting way to tell the story.
My one issue would be the secondary characters (especially Jane's mom), because I refuse to believe a parent would be so daft. Jane's mother wanted her daughter to simply pick up where she left𑁋go out with friends, see an old (sort of) boyfriend, and even go to prom. For fuck's sake, your only child was missing for seven months𑁋went through something unimaginable𑁋and you want her to go dancing?? It doesn't take a genius to realize that things are not going to be the same, and it's ridiculous to think otherwise. Captivity changes people. It's safe to assume that a person would not jump back into their old life, so I got increasingly frustrated when her mother kept pushing her to do things the old Jane would do. Her mother's constant disappointment was a drain on Jane. She felt responsible for how other people were feeling, and it was heartbreaking to read how that made her feel about herself.
Jane kept telling people what she wanted, and she tried to express what she needed from them, but they were too busy trying to push their own agendas. She was the victim, not them. Her mental stability should have trumped their petty priorities. Even her best friend, Shelly, wanted Jane to talk about what happened. She asked very probing questions𑁋and thought she had a right to𑁋because they used to be close and talked about everything. Where was her compassion? Was her need to know more important than Jane's recovery? Her feelings? She should have been allowed to talk when she was willing, and not pressured into discussing the gruesome details of what transpired while she was missing. (Also, other friends calling her bratty because she wanted to stay home and not hang out with them, was stupid and selfish.)
Additionally, once she does return home, strangers are pressing her for information. Reporters were outside of her house, news vans, friends of the family, neighbors - - leave the girl alone! You can be concerned from a distance. Make a meal for the family and discreetly leave it on the doorstep. Don't do something just for the sake of getting the "inside scoop". Also, don't walk up to someone and tell them how inspiring or brave they are. They don't want to hear that shit. People who are actively suffering (and even people who aren't) don't want to hear how their traumatic experiences have made you feel. They're likely trying to get through life one day at a time, and your "well-meaning" words are only making it more difficult. Besides, there's no way you could possibly relate to what they've been through, unless you've gone through something similar yourself. Even then, no two situations are the same.
Basically, bad things happen to people, and it's not your job to sniff out the details. Leave people alone so they can heal and work towards some semblance of a normal life. If they want to talk, they'll talk. I wish the secondary characters in this book had been more supportive and understanding, yet even the therapists seemed to fail at having a clue. It's their job, and they still managed to make Jane feel unheard. It was saddening to see what she had to endure even after her escape. There was one person that mad Jane feel like she could breathe, and I wish there had been more interactions between them.
There are a few revelations that were surprising to Jane, but that seemed obvious from an outsider's perspective. A couple of details here and there didn't make sense, so I started crafting my own version of events alongside Jane's. Eventually the two overlapped (when Jane is presented with irrefutable evidence), and while I wasn't too surprised, I thought the end result was well-crafted. I felt Jane's fear and uncertainty, her convictions and subtle strengths. She's a character you want to rage for. Stolarz's story was believable, brutal, and something that will stay with me for a long time. (★★★★☆)
